BEAUTY

Each moment of the year has its own beauty,

a picture which was never seen before,

and which shall never be seen again.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Amercian essayist and philosopher

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October

Hi There,

Hope this message finds you perfectly perfect. I imagine you are all about a state of perfection. I truly hope it is like that for you. I wonder if you miss us or understand completely how necessary it is for you to have been called to be where you are, just as we are appointed here right now? I miss you Mark/We miss you. It is really something how the sound of  your voice and entire being can easily be summoned... I suppose as easily as any memory of you.

I want you to know you are mentioned often, thought of so endearingly and still considered very much here with us in many ways, we hold on to your wonderful spirit, if you let us, with your permission and blessings we hold you forever in our hearts, forever until never, no never will we not remember you and know you are somewhere in our soul. OK, that is all for now. Hope to have a good October.

Peace and love,
from me
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The Other Side by Bruno Mars - ft. Cee Lo Green & B.o.B

This is just a bad-ass beat. Mars blasts off into the musical cosmos wit it... serves it up tight, right, bright, big y beautiful.
"Yeah, I'm a monster but I ain't no frankenstein".... wtf. bad to da dippity do-da! ♪♫♪☼ "It's better if you don't understand"... !

Happy Birthday!

So anyway, you have been on my mind quite a bit these day's, as another birthday approached, came & went at lightening speed. A lot of folk missing you, recalling your goodness & sending birthday wishes your way still. You went to heaven when you were 37 and would have turned 54 yesterday. I guess that is one nice thing about dying young... you will always be youthful in the memories of those who think of you. Will always feel a particular void since June, 1994 when you enhaled your very first breath in heaven and released your last breath on earth. It hurts sometimes since you've gone yet I take comfort in knowing you are in a state of perfection.  vI know somehow, your spirit connects with me and other loved one's. I know because I pray it so, I feel it and when other's say or do something that is just like your distinctive brand of humor, smarts, expression & compassion, well you become present in that moment- I smile and my heart warms-up.  Your spirit transcends time and space and embraces us probebly, in more ways than we realize. Thank you for the whispers from heaven.
Long live the twin connection.

I love you brother. 

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Forget Me Not

It is September, of course I am going to think about you, mom's monkey faced son. Today marks the 10th anniversary (9.11.01) of the destruction of thousands of lives and the Twin Towers at the World Tread Center in NYC, the attack on the Pentagon & hero's aboard a United Airlines flight, overthrow highjackers- sacrificing their lives to save others as the plane is downed in Pennsylvania.  That dark day, another day of infamy that stunned the world. America under siege. Still almost unbelievable to witness and imagine all of the profoundly painful, life changing moments, countless stories told of bravery and many stories that will never be told, of death and dying, survival, horrifying, hysteria, happenstance, surreal bone chilling, heart wrenching situations. We all watched and listened in disbelief and shock as the night mare unfolded. The shock wave still felt today. People were a little more tender with one another and respectful during those days of despair and grief- Perhaps thinking twice about the fragile balance between life and death, love and hate, war and peace, darkness and light ~

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Spiritual Connection

 

                                                          Talk about your soul brothers.
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School Supplies

When adverstisements about school supplies began in late August when we were kids, it was like getting a last call for fun in the summer sun... the days were so simple when nothing was better than an ice cold Grape or Strawberry Nehi soda, sweaty glass of Kool-aid or a frozen popsicle. School was fast approaching and the water guns, trips to the pool, playing outside with friends and neighborhood kids were winding down.  Now a days school seems to start earlier and ads for school supplies are already in full swing.

The smell of a Big Chief tablet with the lined and faded looking pages was something special, ahhh... the distinctive aroma of fresh pulp as you fanned yourself with the tablet, simply defined everything about going back to school.

*Mom took us shopping, for school supplies, clothes (put on lay-away in the middle of the summer) uniforms, shoes, fresh packs of undies, socks, etc., God Bless Mom and all mothers who sacraficed much, worked hard, provided, cared for and loved their children. God Bless the crazy, lazy days of summer, swimming pools to cool off in, schools, school supplies and blessings before, at this moment and into the future.

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Afternoon Matinee's & Drive-In Theater's

When mom could, we were treated to a Saturday or Sunday afternoon matinee. A few bucks back in the 60s went quite a bit further than it seems to today. We could cover the cost of the movie ticket, a couple of treats from Walgreen's or Skaggs and enough to buy a popcorn or soda.

The Kimo, The State, The Sunshine, Highland, Fox Winrock, Cinema East were the theaters I remember. The Lobo & The Guild seemed to cater to more mature or supposedly mature folk. The Kimo held/holds all the historical and architectural grandeur of any great little or big theater, with the thick velvet curtains and carpet, the elegant banisters and the aire thick with the smell of freshly popped popcorn and eager movie goers, the ascent to the balcony, always seemed special, the minute you walked in... there was no doubt you were at the movies and could step into a make believe world, larger than life. We jumped into the big screen for a couple of hours and became the hero and adventurer, the suave star and very perfect person.

We saw movies like;
Green Beret, John Wayne walked tall and was in command in that one as well as all his other movies, there was Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang,***Elvis as Kid Galahad or dancing it up, gyrating his hips, doing the twirly-twirly as some babe pined over him in Acapulco or Vegas baby! **The Jungle Book, Bambi, Jerry Lewis as The Nutty Professor,The Music Man and Sound of Music along with all The Beach Parties with Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello.

Mom also piled all of us in the station wagon, popped a grocery bag full of popcorn, made some fried chicken or hot dogs, Kool-aid and other provisions and life was good... if that wasn't enough... we could go in our pj's! Off we drove, to the Silver Dollar, Duke City, Wyoming, Terrace, We saw Lilly's of The Field, Mary Poppins, The Incredible Mr Limpet, The Sound of Music. Just great movie-going fun!                                                           

Wonders of the world are actually infinite in number and measure, starting with you and I

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JUNE 2011

This June has been it's usual hot self as the Summer settles in officially. The days and nights move along at a quick pace as time keeps track of things- offering gentle and not so gentle nudges as to when plans are made and when to expect certain seasonal things to take place... baseball, weddings, graduations, vacations, camping, gardening, swimming, sitting out on the patio or the front porch, to cool-off and take it easy.
Then you get a phone call from an old friend, she is calling to let you know about a mutual friend, whose husband just had a fatal heart attack. Out of no where a perfectly sunny Sunday morning turns grey with the news. A wave of shock and sadness shroud the moment as I continue on with my day. Meanwhile, family and friends grieve, the grief resonates as heavy hearts connect spiritually. It is immediate as the holy spirit stirrs our souls and we want to reach-out to console the bereaved, the people who will "survive" the death of a loved one.

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Mark Allen Joseph Ipiotis

I was very sad to realize life would be painfully devoid of you, so different without you around. Sometimes now, sadness gets trigger-happy on me for various reasons, reasons when nothing else will do but to drop a tear or two, for missing you. Your life does not end with us on a spiritual level however, the memories every bit of  them that I can recall went with you and are very much a part of me now... plain & simple.

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Remembering You

When I recall Memorial Day weekends I think of long weekends, camping, day trips, puttering around the house, catching-up on projects and hanging-out with favorite people. You rounding-up a few friendlies for a little barbecue action at your place, and Nancy making sure everybody had plenty. The cold drinks, watermelon, water guns, baby swimming pools, music and good cheer filled the warm air.  I find myself thinking about you as if you were just across town.

 

We remember the days of summer when our big worries were to go with the vanilla or chocolate ice cream cone from the Dairy Dan truck on Sunday night, or which flavor of popsicle or Nehi soda, coca-cola, rc or doctor pepper?? OR who would take us swimming or to a Dukes baseball game? We remember you and all the people who now exist in perfection and who we love so dearly, still. 
~ Your hearts, as sacred as your spirits are great.
Thankfully, the love remains and continues to comfort and bless. Yes, we remember you and all the goodness you shared ~

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Sunset Memorial Piper

June, 1994: One Saturday afternoon, while walking around Sunset Memorial Cemetery, where Mark had recently been laid to rest, I was feeling forlorn, dumbfounded by the death of my twin bro's passing, suddenly off in the distance, the quiet stillness is interrupted by the haunting, prayerful sound of a bagpipe player whaling into his bag of pipes; Amazing Grace.

I was lifted out and taken back by the dreamscape-quality of the moment, it seemed like heaven cracked-open a door and I was allowed to take a peek inside. I was at once, overcome with grief and stunned with disbelief... an experience of a lifetime, so simple yet unusual, mysterious and spellbinding, it left me breathless and hoping I would never forget.
Since Mark's passing almost 14 years ago, holy spirits beckon me with particular glimmers of light and love, peace and comfort, with gentle sometimes barely audible whispers from heaven, always reminding me of a special place and time, and all the goodness we shared.
I know this to be true and receive the messages as answered prayers. ~ To the best of my understanding and beseeching of such matters as these, I am sincerely thankful and humbled as I am made aware of God's amazing Grace that continues to be bestowed upon me and those who ask.

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Amazing Grace

Rise and shine ☼

Art Imitates Life

Whenever the classic movie, To Kill A Mockingbird was on TV, Mark would call me and tell me it was on. Scout and Gem reminded him of us. Scout, a high spirited tomboy and good kid who wanted to beleive that everyone basically was as good-hearted as she is and Gem, Scout's brother, a little older, much more subdued and stoic, thought everyone should be equally as composed and as smart as him.
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Dear Mark,

Just a note as you cross my mind ♪ been a couple of week's since I've posted in your bloggity-blog. Man, the memories, photo's, places, people that bring-up your name, still... who you were and will always be... so cool to hear, be reminded of.  You would love it; "the man, the myth, the legend". How can someone who physically died over thirteen years ago, still be so present in our daily lives?  The impression you made on us, like all dearly departed one's, remain locked-in tight. Those you shared special moments with or very simple, the best or funkiest of times, a little or a lot of life, love, laughter, music, so much goodness to hold on to.

Those days and nights somehow linger and surface easily like a flash-back in a movie.  

I come across various things with your name on it; Mom, your brothers and sisters, your children and Nancy still hold a part of you in their hearts. I see it and feel it.

Well, that's about it for now. As mom would say; "K.I.T.", Keep In Touch. We'll be on the look-out for  you. xo, me

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Dancin In The Moonlight - King Harvest

A Prayer

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi
~

         Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.       
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

   ~ 
Saint Francis of Assisi

~ Dan Fogelberg (8.13.51 - 12.16.07) 1993 River of Souls ~

I take my place along the shore

And I wait for the tide

It seems I've passed this way before

In an earlier time

I hear a voice like mystery

Blowing warm through the night

The silent moon embraces me

And I'm drawn to her light

I follow footprints in the sand

To a circle of stone

Find a fire burning bright

Though I came here alone

And in the play of shadows cast

I can dimly discern

The shapes of all who've gone before

Calling me to return

There are no names

That fit these faces

There are no lines that can define

These ancient spaces

The spirits dance across the ages

And melt into a river of souls

Lo que es de mio ~~ what is mine ~~

Lo que es de dios ~~ what is god's ~~

Lo que es del rio ~~ what is the river's ~~

Melt into a river of souls

I take my place along the shore

And I wait for the tide

It seems I've passed this way before

In an earlier time

To every man the mystery

Sings a different song

He fills his page of history

Dreams his dreams and is gone

There are no names

That fit these faces

There are no lines that can define

These ancient spaces

The spirits dance across the ages

And melt into a river of souls

Lo que es de mio ~~ what is mine ~~

Lo que es de dios ~~ what is god's ~~

Lo que es del rio ~~ what is the river's ~~

Melt into a river of souls

Wake Up!

Wake UP Everybody!

Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes

"No more backward thinking. It's time for thinking ahead"

Opposites

You & me. You're on the left and turned-out left-handed. That would be me on the right.. looking all worked-up about something.

Opposites we are, mom says we are mirror twins, boy and girl twins like twins that are not identical, are also referred to as fraternal. We were womb mates but took up in separate placenta's, even our DNA was not the same as it is with identical twins. There is an undeniable bond however, yes a Bond, Twin Bond. Seems like we always kept an eye on one another. It was natural to ask where you were if you were not around. You would inquire as to my where abouts if I wasn't in sight. Even when you and Nancy married, the connection was locked in between you and I.

You are so missed, Mark, but your physical life ran it's course, unless you consider your cells, various matter, chromosomes still running around in your children and now grandchildren... that's another blog. It hurts sometimes to think you were taken from us mid-way though our lives, taken from everybody who loves you. Honestly, when I think of all the history, the rough and rowdy times, the special moments we shared, the love, loyalty, laughter, fussing, fighting, friendship, unequaled partnership... I feel a void still, the severance included it's own unexplainable grief but like any uncommon bond, I do hold a great deal of satisfaction in knowing we came into life together give or take a few minutes. We shared so many experiences, adventures, lessons, fun and fantastic times as well as challenges, triumphs, simple and unforgettable moments... we shared much.

I'm grateful we grew-up side by side, we gave life our best shot as twins. I am a better person, a different kind of individual for being blessed with you as my twin. I still think of myself as a twin, your twin. You cross my mind often and I thankfully have great memories of our twinship. It was a hell of trip and we traveled with a lot of love, good humor, sass and unique brand of everything. It makes for wonderful stuff of my life.

For The Last Time

The last day of the year meant we could say this is the last time we would do this or that, for example; "This is the last time I will use the bathroom in 2010". or "This is the last glass of water I'll drink in 2010". or, we'd say corny things like; "See you next year"... which would be day after tomorrow. Just silly things to mark the last time something would happen this year and next year would soon be upon us.

23½º

December 21, 2010 Solstice takes place at 23:38 Universal Time = 5:38 PM Central Standard Time.

It's a big deal, when the shadow of the earth can be seen from earth, it's all the rage when the moon and the sun play a kind of hide and go seek. A lunar eclipse is like watching a quiet storm or a silent movie. It's a star studded event, it's an extravaganza rarely seen by humankind. All the main characters placed in position. The world orbits on it's own tilted axis around the sun, the North Pole leans 23½ degrees shying away from the warmth only to scurry and search for the light as quickly as possible tomorrow.

Late dawns, early sunsets, lingering noontime shadows, mood swings, emotions run high and low. Existence moves at a faster pace. In the northern hemisphere it is the shortest day of the year, in the southern hemisphere, it is the longest day. Places are traded, roles reversed, shifts occur. Crazy to imagine the globe moving at an average speed of 18 miles per second. Makes life as we know it seem to be moving in ultra warped slow motion. It's all so curious yet studied since antiquity astronomically, mathematically, scientifically and with countless instruments, tools, devices, maps, charts, Stonehenge's and other means of attempting to figure out the absolute in a infinite sea of variables and factors.

The days in our lives from this corner of the world grows longer after today. The imperfect circle meets the perfect cycle and rhythm of life. Sunrise, sunset and repeat.

December 12

December 12th is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, mother of Jesus and Patron saint of the America's. Devotee's stem from Mexico, New Mexico, the great Southwest and around the world, Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe is a symbol of faith, hope and love.

The Dominican nun's at Queen of Heaven got it in their heads to put a pageant play on one year, at the church. We were 6th or 7th graders as I recall and you played the part of a bishop.You wore a red cassock with a matching skull cap and looked very bishopy. I was a guard and my costume was a Mexican serape vest and a super goofy straw hat, which were big in the late 60's. Something Annette Funacello and Frankie Avalon, wore in those movies with a beach backdrop. Roy Rivera narrated the play which was very corny and very sweet. Afterwards, Mom treated us to a great spaghetti dinner at Caruso's, the Italian neighborhood resturante.

Mom has always believed that good things happen to her on The Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. She has believed it and so it has been, is and will be. Amen. Here's to you "Lupe" we love you, most holy, precious, peaceful, perfect one.

Thank you too!

Thanks you crazy, knuckle-head!  Man did we raise hell, like with some of our knock down drag-out fights for example, that called for post fight reviews to include how we would protect ourselves from one another, the next time. Thank you for stopping to pad your bare knuckles with socks, the socks that were supposed to hold in the padding like boxing gloves. The socks slipped around and in no time we were basically boxing bare knuckled. I usually ended-up with a bloody nose and that pretty much put the kibosh on the match. The blood was impressive and made me feel real gladiator-like.  But yeah, Thank you for the goofy good times. I think about certain moments we laughed so hard, the tears streamed down our faces. The fist-a-cuffs one day and the hilarious mad-cap shenanigans we worked ourselves in and out of, the next. It was a blast. Yes, Thank you oh so, oh so, oso much! xo, m

Dia's de Los Muertos

¡¡Viva La Vida y Viva Los Muertos!!!

Sundee June 5, 1994

You called from Mom's and said; "C'mon over". I said; "No". You repeated; "C'mon over" I said; "Nah., You persisted; "C'mon over" I resisted and said; "No".

You insisted and said; "Mom made strawberry Jello-O w/bananas"! I changed my mind and said; "OK".

If it hadn't been for Mom's strawberry Jell-O w/bananas, I would not have seen you the day before you went to Heaven.

I miss you, is all I'm saying here. We think and talk about you dearly departed one, all the time. Seems like you're always around, but not quite.

Here's to strawberry Jell-O w/bananas, white butterflies and all the things that remind us of YOU. XOXO, ME

On Your Mark

Get set... GO! Run, jump, zig-zag, dart in and out of this obstacle and that one.. rather exciting stuff to us knuckle-head roustabouts who only wanted to have fun, a good laugh, the thrill of trying to be good at something and better then the competition which was each other, minimum. Anybody else in on the fun and games would be well advised to bring-on their best game. The backyard obstacle courses we set-up were fantastic fun and slightly dangerous. You know, no Risk Management or Quality Control inspections to ensure our safety. No, none of that candy-assness... and by the way, NO cry babies. Note: The obstacle course shown here is not exactly like some of the courses we rigged-up but similar in concept. The wheel barrel jump, scaling the cinder block wall & flower-box planter, the race against the clock... Was ON, the competition- fierce. The stop-watch was ticking. If there was any abrasions, lacerations, rasberries, knots or blows to the head, slight concussions, contusions, sprains or such you were strongly encouraged to tough it out so we could start over. Fun Fun!

August 28, 2010

When your son, Mark was born around 28 yrs ago, apparently you couldn't grab your baby boy fast enough from Nancy who had just given birth to him, to present him to the small waiting crowd gathered outside the deliverary room... beaming you offered him to mom and exclaimed; "Happy Birthday Mom" to your beloved mother and mine, Marian "Sparky". HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM & MARKY!!! We Love you then, now & ever more!

Yesterday, August 28, 2010 Mom turned 85. We got her in the 47 Chevy Fleetline, we also call; "Sparky" and along with sisters, Sophie, Marcie & brother, Chris went for a spin and a coke.

A little later, we all gathered in mom's room to sing happy birthday to her, couldn't find any candles. I said; "on three---" and immediately started with "Happy Birthday to you..." without counting to three, which Liz-a was all to happy to point-out.

The ride with mom & siblings, Breakfast Club gathering in the morning, the rain and the day was a beautiful deluge of freshness, family, great old friends, good cheer and was as sweet and special as can be. Blessings abound.

Sun D Night

August 22, 2010. Don't think we don't miss you Mark, you know we do. You, me.. it was; their's, our's, the twins, los cuates, jimelos... and then there was one. Actually, when you went your way as a young adult and I went my way... it kind of started being mine & yours. We were checking-out the world on our own, independent of one another. It wasn't a complete schism, you called on me many times in your adult life... looking for some kind of comfort, understanding, connection... even if it was only to agitate, irratate, annoy, announce... scoop me on some late-breaking local, national, international, athletic or entertainment-type news. You couldn't wait to break the news, Dick Knifing-style.

Twins are special,,.. special & double-up on much. It is pluralization for the situation, in association with the invocation, irrovocation, recreation for all creation... jus messing wichoo. laterz. mair

The Way We Were

Sounds so silly, corny, not really us... but then again Mark, I think about the memories growing-up with you. Everything we gave and took from one another, so many things that remind me of you, I play forward still today. We loved you so much, we love you now and take you with us into the unknown, knowing we loved you to death. We shared life, learned some lessons painfully and other lessons brought to bare with great joy, great laughs, great history between us, I hold on to and cherish with the understanding that you too love us to death. The connection is strong, in tact and remains, due to The Way We Were ~

White Butterfly

A Butterfly Lights Beside Us, like a sunbeam... and for a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to our world... but then it flies on again, and although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all.

~ Author Unknown

Everything & Nothing @ All

Taking in the night sky, relaxing and lounging on the trunk of mom's car. Just shoot the breeze, identify the big and little dipper's, Venus, the moon made us kooky crazy with absurd observation about everything and nothing at all. I knew we would outgrow those times and that I would never forget them. When I see a clear night now I don't see as many stars as we did then but I know they are there... just like I know you're there and still here in my heart and soul, my head. It's all relative isn't it, relative to you and I and everything, everyone who have only to look up at the heavens and see the vastness of life, the mysteries of death and every bit of light that gives us comfort in the middle of all the darkness.

The top of the car trunk in the driveway became a place to retreat to individually too. You'd go out there and day dream, make that get lost in the night sky, taking in what was to be received I suppose. Whatever it was, the solice of reclining outside on the car in the evening, is a good thing to recall.

Sunday

Sunday is a bittersweet thing... many a good thing can occur yet the weekend closes in on the work week, homework is due, work Monday. For now it's quiet and comfortable in my corner of the world as I think and pray about anybody who suffers, the young, old, innocent one's with no place to go, biting pain, despair, fear, isolation looms.

Holy Spirit cast your mercy, comfort, consolation, peace on those who suffer. Please be with those who are not winding down from a lovely weekend and gearing-up in eager anticipation of the week ahead.

HEY!

So even tho' you incurred much grief on me as your twin sister, you also provided much goodness & great memories. What we shared from the beginning as womb mates to the very last time I saw you walking around, is an uncommon connection for obvious reasons and many more not so obvious. How very special and precious, how well I know and remain amazed at the sustainability of the twin ness.

I was thinking about the Saturday morning at KANW, I was on one side of a glass partition and you were on the other on the control boards. You kind of dozed-off in between songs, on oxygen by then, around spring 1994. I remember thinking; Don't die. I could feel you getting weak, sick and tired. You never mentioned the possibility of having to say goodbye, just kept on plowing through.

I don't like to go on about this matter either... but damn,, sometimes, well. You were born a few minutes b4 me, then you up and left some years b4 me. Well, that's just fine. You go on outta here with you're bad self. Enjoy the hell out of the peaceful, powerful, place of privilege, the perfection that encompasses you now. Wow! What's not to look forward to? For now tho' mom is hanging in there but grows increasingly weary of this world. The good news is her life, like yours continues to bless us in more ways then we realize.

..."I Did Not Die"

A Native American Poem :

Don't stand by my grave and weep, for I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I'm the diamond's glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. Don't stand by my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.

High School Year Books, Raggedy Ann & Andy & stuff

Robert Chavez signed our year book one year with the following bit of an inordinate degree of sentimentality: "Mike you like basketball."That was rich, real, simple straight to the point. * As kids we seemed to have some sort of connection with Raggedy Ann & Raggedy Andy. * We liked the children's song that went something like Jimmy crack corn and I don't care. * One of our favorite story books was the action packed Little Black Sambo. * A simple shovel and pale provided many hours of fun and mud pies was a thrilling way to get muddy. A drop of water on the tip of a little hill of sand created cool crown-like designs... then to scrape um up carefully from underneath.. a delicate procedure and phenomenal fun. * Oh, How bout when we perched on the wooden fence in between our house and Fofo & Florences' shoot the breeze and nibble on honey suckle off our tree? Sweet and peaceful, not a care in the world-times.. no way you could tell me different.

So, HEY. Been thinking about you today Mark. I went to a funeral service for little boy Timothy and little girl Abigail who were left out completely on their own in the world, abandoned out in the middle of life with only the grace of God to lift their innocent, pure precious hearts and bodies to a place beyond earthly recognition and description. The caskets were about the size of shoe boxes and covered with a nice silky fabric. Metropolitan Community Church made arrangements for a burial service at Sunset Memorial Cemetery along the babies corridor right next to Edith. Pastor Judith Maynard presided over the simple occasion marking the transition from life to death for two babies who never got a chance to be. This was their course? Who am I to question the book of life and death.

The moment was solemn, sad and laced with a particular calm that occurs when the holy spirit is undeniably present. My aching heart fluttered as the mysteries of life and death leave me feeling humble, somewhat weak. There is a profound peace and stillness even in the middle of the hustle and bustle surrounding us in the middle of day. I wonder about some things yet feel reassured and confident about others.

Ahh huh. Any who... What up? You bug me. You bug me. Shut-up. You shut-up. I love you. Later ~

Sports

Yes sports a common denominator for you and me. To watch it was to see people playing and having fun but we enjoyed the action, the challenge, the strength & coordination required and of course the competitive nature of it. We made a game out of the simplest things... how long could we keep the object i.e. ball, Frisbee, whatever in the air without dropping it.. then try to break our record, it was always about breaking the record, bettering the numbers.. the obstacle courses we set-up in the back yard.. the wheel barrel jump, scaling the concrete planter etc. the basketball games with goal tending allowed during the backboard-nailed to a tree era in the early 70's. The Olympics inspired many a competitive event between us. The Friday or Saturday night basketball games on the wooden floors with a wad of socks balled up. We either didn't have a ball around for whatever reason or mom was opposed to the idea of a basketball bouncing and bursting around the front bedroom. We played about as raucous, rough and tumble as happy puppies... we decided that the area just above the door was the basketball goal. We had some tremendous airial type moves and only got better as we grew to excel and have a blast in sports. We both pitched, you in baseball, me in softball & both held our own on first base. I recall feeling a great deal of pride when you compared my batting skills to Babe Ruth & Hank Aaron. I honestly fancied myself to be quite the quarterback, threw a good looking spiral that sailed & spanned some real estate. Alas, my QB days were shorter-lived than I expected and saddened me deeply. We appreciated the effort involved in organized sports too, the commadare, the practice & training involved altho not necessarily our most favorite thing to do but a big part of the athletic equation.
The ABC Sports motto has always struck a nerve with me and I think you appreciated it too;
"The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat".

January/February

So long January. See you next year!. The calender flips over tomorrow. It would be nice to see the short month go smoothly. I'm hopeful the world will be as well as possible. From on high to down low and every where in between.. may all life be good and all death be in accordance with the cycle and circle of life and may the physically departed sleep in heavenly peace ~

Auntie Agnes

Auntie Agnes died peacefully in her sleep last Monday. She was mom's last remaining sibling, mom has taken her sister's death pretty hard. Sure does get you to thinking about your own mortality, from whence you came and all that.

Auntie was a good woman, salt of the earth. When I think of her I picture her dancing with me to ranchera music, her head resting on my chest then bursting out in laughter, puro grins and giggles. She liked a good laugh. Auntie made some of the best if not the most delicious spicy ice tea I've ever had. At Christmas she gave us great knit or wool socks, scarfs, gloves or mittens, something really thoughtful, practical and fun, special and highly anticipated. There always seemed to be a picture of JFK prominently placed on one of the walls in your neat and organized home.

It's sad to think Auntie's gone but comforting to know her influence, the impact and impression she made remains. The very important people stick around, some how stay with us in our heart and soul long after the dance is done.

Rest in Peace Auntie "Nines" Agnes ~
Agnes Hammond
March 31, 1921 - December 21, 2009

Pick One

One of our favorite past times when we visited Grampa Epi & Gramma Alice up in Santa Fe was to get one of those thick catalogs from their study which was lined wall to wall with books from the classics, childrens books, books about south west history, sets of encyclopedias, dictionaries, almanacs and a host of other reference books in addition to family albums. So we'd grab a Sears, JCPenny, Montgomery Wards or Speigal, whatever looked the freshest and we would sit comfortably on the sofa with half of the catalog resting on me and half resting on you. The idea was to pick one thing you would like from each page, only one thing. We'd spend hours it seems like combing the pages, skip the clothes and have crazy fun deciding which camping equipment, ring, bike, toy, appliance, lamp, tool or musical instrument would best suit our mood & needs a jour. It was a harmless way to kill time and enjoy a few grins and giggles as we got lost in our wish lists and youthful reverie.

Another time Sophie, Marcie, Chris & Gramma Alice were playing Scrabble, sitting around a card table, Grampa was reading the paper or maybe wathcing Gun Smoke on TV. Whatever he was doing he and the Scrabble players were oblivious to the somewhat rowdy game of chase we had going on throughout the house. We'd hide from each other and then come out and basically scare the shit out of the other person. One of us got the bright idea to hide under the card table where the Scrabble board sat almost filled with the square wooden letters. I believe I came up from behind you unbeknownst to you and scared you silly. You jumped up in the air cat-like and the table flipped over, Scrabble board & wooden letters went flying all over the living room. It was not pretty and that was one of the only times I can remember Grampa getting upset with us. We were run off to our respective sleeping quarters trying to repress our laughter in the wake of the recent turn of events that ended a perfectly civilized game of Scrabble. Everyone was a little bit ahh put-off by our raucous and scrappy nincompoopy shenanigans.

Hearts & Bones ~ Fly Away & Come In for a Landing

Don't fly away-OK fly away but don't forget about me. I'll be here looking and waiting for you, wondering how your world is, how, where, who you are at any given time & space. Drop in whenever you want. Please know you are welcome here with me anytime. Want to remind you of the standing reservation you hold in my heart, head & soul... You and your love remain in that place deep inside my epicenter... that sacred, holy place in all creation where only love & peace reside. I don't mind reminding you of this periodically. Love to you, then, now & always. ~ from me

Race Car

Ideally when we played Monopoly, with regard to the board layout GO was on my right side and I liked to be the thimble or the hat. Mark was the race car. If I took care of the deeds, I liked to stack 'um up neatly in an organized manner, lining them up in order of their value on the board, in that exact order & keep all the colors together of course. The procurement of property was slow going the first round or two due to the fact that we preferred not to buy property until we passed GO again. No doubt the first warm-up round could work for or against you and could set the tone for the rest of the game. Course the roll of dice had everything to do with it. Sometime we'd buy everything we could immediatley, the railroads, utilities, the square lots with matching stripes of green, red, baby blue, orange, yellow etc., basically if you landed on it you bought it unless, it was something that took us for a ride. When Chris played, he thought it was OK to make the rules up as we went along but even with those practices in place, sometimes things did not go his way... all hell would break loose when all he could do out of frustration was flip the board over... deeds, tokens, money, hotels/houses exploded and went flying all over the place... needless to say game over.

We played for hours at a time with emotions often running high as someone gloated over their park avenue property or tempers flaired due to unsavory trips around that wildly wonderful or dull as dirt game board game not going their way, maybe good property was available but you kept landing on someone elses who had developed it with the little red houses or splendid green hotels. I enjoyed playing with people who liked to get the ball rolling and get to the gettin of monopolizing as much property, as smart and fast as you could. Drawing the chance or community chest cards could put a smile or a frown on your face. Go to jail card was a bummer but Get out of jail free was a nice ace in the hole. Rolling the dice and landing on Free Parking was fun, especially if there was a big booty accumulating in the middle of the board. There were the cocky ones with a cut throat style, out for blood and guts, it was so interesting when things started going south for that type player who procured property at any cost. It's just a game right? The players who took more of a reasonable and fair approach to the game were much more fun to play with. It was always delicious to see poetic justice done when the greedy land baron type player started having a tough go with the dice... tsk tsk, nah... if anything it was refreshing to see a haughty nature turn humble. The life size board shown here > is on a pad of concrete in a park at San Jose, Califas.

Comic Books, Combat or Red Skelton

Comics of choice included Archie, Family Circle, Marmaduke, Beetle Baily, Superman & Batman respectively. Sophie & Marcie use to read us "the funnies" from the Sunday paper like Lil Abner, Blondie of Blondie & Dagwood fame. Dennis the Menace was annoying, still is, even bugged us but was easy to take and predictable reading. I got into Snoopy & The Peanuts Gang and discovered satire when I read Mad magazine featuring smart-ass, "What, me worry?" Alfred E. Neuman. Is it just me or when you look real quickly at GW Bush, he and Alfred E. are dead ringers for each other? The ears look like some one else I know too. Any who, besides your army men, sports was a big deal to you, consequently became a big deal to me. I've often wondered had I been much more interested in girly-things, toys, clothes, activities and such... would you have been interested in those things too. I don't think so Mark, you were pretty much your own guy, kind of conventional kid, normal... where as Mary, Mary quite the contrary, always seem to look at life and all it's rarities, wonders, weird wild ways as something to explore rather than ignore.

1960's TV included Combat featuring Vic Morrow and a platoon of soldiers trying to survive with WWII as it's backdrop. You and Chris felt strongly about wanting to watch that program and Sophie, Marcie and I wanted to watch The Red Skelton Variety Show starring the kind, dimple-faced, dashing and funny Red Skelton of course. It was quite the battle of the the TV, I think on Tuesday nights. I'm not crystal clear, but mom probably manadated taking turns every week or maybe if Gary was home on leave, we watched Combat, no questions asked since he was in the Air Force and soldiery and all. How could we not watch it at that point?

Marky & Mary

So here's a photo of us, the puddin-heads that we were... when there was such a thing as penny candy & candy bars for a nickle, with our empty Nehi, Pepsi, RC etc. bottles we'd merrily march over to Mr & Mrs Bakers candy store with the pennies, nickles & dimes we scrounged-up from around the house, to get more ice cold soda's, maybe a popcicle, fudgecicle, push-up or milknickle ice cream bar. Life was good, simple, easy going. Mom made chicken or meat loaf on Sunday with all the fixins then drop us off at the Kimo, State or Sunshine theaters for an afternoon at the movies. We saw Bambi run for her life one Saturday afternoon at the Highland theater. That was my favorite place to take in a movie. I loved the balcony and the Kimo's too. For a buck or two we'd get licorice or whatever sweets from Skaggs or Walgreens, popcorn & a coke at the movies and maybe still have a little bit left over. So simple, so fun. But what about those ears of yours? Actually, upon further review, I notice my ears protrude a bit there myself but the pixie hair-do covers 'um up. Just reminiscing a bit is all.

Happy Birthday to You!

Here's one of your favorite songs when you were a kid. Thinking of you today Mark.
Windy by The Association

Your Pick

Mark's Dedication

It's that time of year when the night grows eager to take over the day. The seasons switch places and the clock keeps ticking. We're still here, surviving, striving, thriving. Everyday another opportunity to live right, revive the stagnant soul, stay the course. It's a good, hopeful time of year.
"I want to make a dedication;" "I want to dedicate this month to you, the one's who loved and cared for me. The one's who trusted that I truly loved and cared for you." "I dedicate September to you for the goodness we shared and recall with great joy. I take my place quietly, in your heart and soul, the holy place of privilege, power, perfection beyond understanding. I'm still a part of you now. Spirits unbridled, beyond limitations... enhanced by our wish to preserve the magic and mystery of life." "I dedicate these days and nights to you... for the untouchable, unexplainable flawless impact you made on me through devine appointment, God's tender mercies, amazing Grace and infinite source of peace and understanding."