For The Last Time

The last day of the year meant we could say this is the last time we would do this or that, for example; "This is the last time I will use the bathroom in 2010". or "This is the last glass of water I'll drink in 2010". or, we'd say corny things like; "See you next year"... which would be day after tomorrow. Just silly things to mark the last time something would happen this year and next year would soon be upon us.

23½º

December 21, 2010 Solstice takes place at 23:38 Universal Time = 5:38 PM Central Standard Time.

It's a big deal, when the shadow of the earth can be seen from earth, it's all the rage when the moon and the sun play a kind of hide and go seek. A lunar eclipse is like watching a quiet storm or a silent movie. It's a star studded event, it's an extravaganza rarely seen by humankind. All the main characters placed in position. The world orbits on it's own tilted axis around the sun, the North Pole leans 23½ degrees shying away from the warmth only to scurry and search for the light as quickly as possible tomorrow.

Late dawns, early sunsets, lingering noontime shadows, mood swings, emotions run high and low. Existence moves at a faster pace. In the northern hemisphere it is the shortest day of the year, in the southern hemisphere, it is the longest day. Places are traded, roles reversed, shifts occur. Crazy to imagine the globe moving at an average speed of 18 miles per second. Makes life as we know it seem to be moving in ultra warped slow motion. It's all so curious yet studied since antiquity astronomically, mathematically, scientifically and with countless instruments, tools, devices, maps, charts, Stonehenge's and other means of attempting to figure out the absolute in a infinite sea of variables and factors.

The days in our lives from this corner of the world grows longer after today. The imperfect circle meets the perfect cycle and rhythm of life. Sunrise, sunset and repeat.

December 12

December 12th is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, mother of Jesus and Patron saint of the America's. Devotee's stem from Mexico, New Mexico, the great Southwest and around the world, Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe is a symbol of faith, hope and love.

The Dominican nun's at Queen of Heaven got it in their heads to put a pageant play on one year, at the church. We were 6th or 7th graders as I recall and you played the part of a bishop.You wore a red cassock with a matching skull cap and looked very bishopy. I was a guard and my costume was a Mexican serape vest and a super goofy straw hat, which were big in the late 60's. Something Annette Funacello and Frankie Avalon, wore in those movies with a beach backdrop. Roy Rivera narrated the play which was very corny and very sweet. Afterwards, Mom treated us to a great spaghetti dinner at Caruso's, the Italian neighborhood resturante.

Mom has always believed that good things happen to her on The Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. She has believed it and so it has been, is and will be. Amen. Here's to you "Lupe" we love you, most holy, precious, peaceful, perfect one.

Thank you too!

Thanks you crazy, knuckle-head!  Man did we raise hell, like with some of our knock down drag-out fights for example, that called for post fight reviews to include how we would protect ourselves from one another, the next time. Thank you for stopping to pad your bare knuckles with socks, the socks that were supposed to hold in the padding like boxing gloves. The socks slipped around and in no time we were basically boxing bare knuckled. I usually ended-up with a bloody nose and that pretty much put the kibosh on the match. The blood was impressive and made me feel real gladiator-like.  But yeah, Thank you for the goofy good times. I think about certain moments we laughed so hard, the tears streamed down our faces. The fist-a-cuffs one day and the hilarious mad-cap shenanigans we worked ourselves in and out of, the next. It was a blast. Yes, Thank you oh so, oh so, oso much! xo, m

Dia's de Los Muertos

¡¡Viva La Vida y Viva Los Muertos!!!

Sundee June 5, 1994

You called from Mom's and said; "C'mon over". I said; "No". You repeated; "C'mon over" I said; "Nah., You persisted; "C'mon over" I resisted and said; "No".

You insisted and said; "Mom made strawberry Jello-O w/bananas"! I changed my mind and said; "OK".

If it hadn't been for Mom's strawberry Jell-O w/bananas, I would not have seen you the day before you went to Heaven.

I miss you, is all I'm saying here. We think and talk about you dearly departed one, all the time. Seems like you're always around, but not quite.

Here's to strawberry Jell-O w/bananas, white butterflies and all the things that remind us of YOU. XOXO, ME

On Your Mark

Get set... GO! Run, jump, zig-zag, dart in and out of this obstacle and that one.. rather exciting stuff to us knuckle-head roustabouts who only wanted to have fun, a good laugh, the thrill of trying to be good at something and better then the competition which was each other, minimum. Anybody else in on the fun and games would be well advised to bring-on their best game. The backyard obstacle courses we set-up were fantastic fun and slightly dangerous. You know, no Risk Management or Quality Control inspections to ensure our safety. No, none of that candy-assness... and by the way, NO cry babies. Note: The obstacle course shown here is not exactly like some of the courses we rigged-up but similar in concept. The wheel barrel jump, scaling the cinder block wall & flower-box planter, the race against the clock... Was ON, the competition- fierce. The stop-watch was ticking. If there was any abrasions, lacerations, rasberries, knots or blows to the head, slight concussions, contusions, sprains or such you were strongly encouraged to tough it out so we could start over. Fun Fun!

August 28, 2010

When your son, Mark was born around 28 yrs ago, apparently you couldn't grab your baby boy fast enough from Nancy who had just given birth to him, to present him to the small waiting crowd gathered outside the deliverary room... beaming you offered him to mom and exclaimed; "Happy Birthday Mom" to your beloved mother and mine, Marian "Sparky". HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM & MARKY!!! We Love you then, now & ever more!

Yesterday, August 28, 2010 Mom turned 85. We got her in the 47 Chevy Fleetline, we also call; "Sparky" and along with sisters, Sophie, Marcie & brother, Chris went for a spin and a coke.

A little later, we all gathered in mom's room to sing happy birthday to her, couldn't find any candles. I said; "on three---" and immediately started with "Happy Birthday to you..." without counting to three, which Liz-a was all to happy to point-out.

The ride with mom & siblings, Breakfast Club gathering in the morning, the rain and the day was a beautiful deluge of freshness, family, great old friends, good cheer and was as sweet and special as can be. Blessings abound.

Sun D Night

August 22, 2010. Don't think we don't miss you Mark, you know we do. You, me.. it was; their's, our's, the twins, los cuates, jimelos... and then there was one. Actually, when you went your way as a young adult and I went my way... it kind of started being mine & yours. We were checking-out the world on our own, independent of one another. It wasn't a complete schism, you called on me many times in your adult life... looking for some kind of comfort, understanding, connection... even if it was only to agitate, irratate, annoy, announce... scoop me on some late-breaking local, national, international, athletic or entertainment-type news. You couldn't wait to break the news, Dick Knifing-style.

Twins are special,,.. special & double-up on much. It is pluralization for the situation, in association with the invocation, irrovocation, recreation for all creation... jus messing wichoo. laterz. mair

The Way We Were

Sounds so silly, corny, not really us... but then again Mark, I think about the memories growing-up with you. Everything we gave and took from one another, so many things that remind me of you, I play forward still today. We loved you so much, we love you now and take you with us into the unknown, knowing we loved you to death. We shared life, learned some lessons painfully and other lessons brought to bare with great joy, great laughs, great history between us, I hold on to and cherish with the understanding that you too love us to death. The connection is strong, in tact and remains, due to The Way We Were ~

White Butterfly

A Butterfly Lights Beside Us, like a sunbeam... and for a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to our world... but then it flies on again, and although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all.

~ Author Unknown

Everything & Nothing @ All

Taking in the night sky, relaxing and lounging on the trunk of mom's car. Just shoot the breeze, identify the big and little dipper's, Venus, the moon made us kooky crazy with absurd observation about everything and nothing at all. I knew we would outgrow those times and that I would never forget them. When I see a clear night now I don't see as many stars as we did then but I know they are there... just like I know you're there and still here in my heart and soul, my head. It's all relative isn't it, relative to you and I and everything, everyone who have only to look up at the heavens and see the vastness of life, the mysteries of death and every bit of light that gives us comfort in the middle of all the darkness.

The top of the car trunk in the driveway became a place to retreat to individually too. You'd go out there and day dream, make that get lost in the night sky, taking in what was to be received I suppose. Whatever it was, the solice of reclining outside on the car in the evening, is a good thing to recall.

Sunday

Sunday is a bittersweet thing... many a good thing can occur yet the weekend closes in on the work week, homework is due, work Monday. For now it's quiet and comfortable in my corner of the world as I think and pray about anybody who suffers, the young, old, innocent one's with no place to go, biting pain, despair, fear, isolation looms.

Holy Spirit cast your mercy, comfort, consolation, peace on those who suffer. Please be with those who are not winding down from a lovely weekend and gearing-up in eager anticipation of the week ahead.

HEY!

So even tho' you incurred much grief on me as your twin sister, you also provided much goodness & great memories. What we shared from the beginning as womb mates to the very last time I saw you walking around, is an uncommon connection for obvious reasons and many more not so obvious. How very special and precious, how well I know and remain amazed at the sustainability of the twin ness.

I was thinking about the Saturday morning at KANW, I was on one side of a glass partition and you were on the other on the control boards. You kind of dozed-off in between songs, on oxygen by then, around spring 1994. I remember thinking; Don't die. I could feel you getting weak, sick and tired. You never mentioned the possibility of having to say goodbye, just kept on plowing through.

I don't like to go on about this matter either... but damn,, sometimes, well. You were born a few minutes b4 me, then you up and left some years b4 me. Well, that's just fine. You go on outta here with you're bad self. Enjoy the hell out of the peaceful, powerful, place of privilege, the perfection that encompasses you now. Wow! What's not to look forward to? For now tho' mom is hanging in there but grows increasingly weary of this world. The good news is her life, like yours continues to bless us in more ways then we realize.

..."I Did Not Die"

A Native American Poem :

Don't stand by my grave and weep, for I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I'm the diamond's glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. Don't stand by my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.

High School Year Books, Raggedy Ann & Andy & stuff

Robert Chavez signed our year book one year with the following bit of an inordinate degree of sentimentality: "Mike you like basketball."That was rich, real, simple straight to the point. * As kids we seemed to have some sort of connection with Raggedy Ann & Raggedy Andy. * We liked the children's song that went something like Jimmy crack corn and I don't care. * One of our favorite story books was the action packed Little Black Sambo. * A simple shovel and pale provided many hours of fun and mud pies was a thrilling way to get muddy. A drop of water on the tip of a little hill of sand created cool crown-like designs... then to scrape um up carefully from underneath.. a delicate procedure and phenomenal fun. * Oh, How bout when we perched on the wooden fence in between our house and Fofo & Florences' shoot the breeze and nibble on honey suckle off our tree? Sweet and peaceful, not a care in the world-times.. no way you could tell me different.

So, HEY. Been thinking about you today Mark. I went to a funeral service for little boy Timothy and little girl Abigail who were left out completely on their own in the world, abandoned out in the middle of life with only the grace of God to lift their innocent, pure precious hearts and bodies to a place beyond earthly recognition and description. The caskets were about the size of shoe boxes and covered with a nice silky fabric. Metropolitan Community Church made arrangements for a burial service at Sunset Memorial Cemetery along the babies corridor right next to Edith. Pastor Judith Maynard presided over the simple occasion marking the transition from life to death for two babies who never got a chance to be. This was their course? Who am I to question the book of life and death.

The moment was solemn, sad and laced with a particular calm that occurs when the holy spirit is undeniably present. My aching heart fluttered as the mysteries of life and death leave me feeling humble, somewhat weak. There is a profound peace and stillness even in the middle of the hustle and bustle surrounding us in the middle of day. I wonder about some things yet feel reassured and confident about others.

Ahh huh. Any who... What up? You bug me. You bug me. Shut-up. You shut-up. I love you. Later ~

Sports

Yes sports a common denominator for you and me. To watch it was to see people playing and having fun but we enjoyed the action, the challenge, the strength & coordination required and of course the competitive nature of it. We made a game out of the simplest things... how long could we keep the object i.e. ball, Frisbee, whatever in the air without dropping it.. then try to break our record, it was always about breaking the record, bettering the numbers.. the obstacle courses we set-up in the back yard.. the wheel barrel jump, scaling the concrete planter etc. the basketball games with goal tending allowed during the backboard-nailed to a tree era in the early 70's. The Olympics inspired many a competitive event between us. The Friday or Saturday night basketball games on the wooden floors with a wad of socks balled up. We either didn't have a ball around for whatever reason or mom was opposed to the idea of a basketball bouncing and bursting around the front bedroom. We played about as raucous, rough and tumble as happy puppies... we decided that the area just above the door was the basketball goal. We had some tremendous airial type moves and only got better as we grew to excel and have a blast in sports. We both pitched, you in baseball, me in softball & both held our own on first base. I recall feeling a great deal of pride when you compared my batting skills to Babe Ruth & Hank Aaron. I honestly fancied myself to be quite the quarterback, threw a good looking spiral that sailed & spanned some real estate. Alas, my QB days were shorter-lived than I expected and saddened me deeply. We appreciated the effort involved in organized sports too, the commadare, the practice & training involved altho not necessarily our most favorite thing to do but a big part of the athletic equation.
The ABC Sports motto has always struck a nerve with me and I think you appreciated it too;
"The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat".

January/February

So long January. See you next year!. The calender flips over tomorrow. It would be nice to see the short month go smoothly. I'm hopeful the world will be as well as possible. From on high to down low and every where in between.. may all life be good and all death be in accordance with the cycle and circle of life and may the physically departed sleep in heavenly peace ~

Auntie Agnes

Auntie Agnes died peacefully in her sleep last Monday. She was mom's last remaining sibling, mom has taken her sister's death pretty hard. Sure does get you to thinking about your own mortality, from whence you came and all that.

Auntie was a good woman, salt of the earth. When I think of her I picture her dancing with me to ranchera music, her head resting on my chest then bursting out in laughter, puro grins and giggles. She liked a good laugh. Auntie made some of the best if not the most delicious spicy ice tea I've ever had. At Christmas she gave us great knit or wool socks, scarfs, gloves or mittens, something really thoughtful, practical and fun, special and highly anticipated. There always seemed to be a picture of JFK prominently placed on one of the walls in your neat and organized home.

It's sad to think Auntie's gone but comforting to know her influence, the impact and impression she made remains. The very important people stick around, some how stay with us in our heart and soul long after the dance is done.

Rest in Peace Auntie "Nines" Agnes ~
Agnes Hammond
March 31, 1921 - December 21, 2009