Would It Kill You?

Would it kill you to be kind, show some respect be a good example of a human? Would you be weak to show compassion, tenderness and tolerance for those who go against your grain?

Would life be better if you had every little and big thing your heart desires?
Would your heart be brave every time it breaks and mends and bursts and beat to a different drummer like mine? Would you have peace if there were no wars? Would you love if you were not loved in return? Would you give without receiving?

Would you want to rebuild, restart, revive, resuscitate your life in new and uncharted territory if you could? Would living differently than what is familiar, be so bad? Would a second thought, second glance and second chance ever be welcomed? Would the good old days be as good if you could live them all over again? Would you consider changing your mind, rethink your strong opinion at the risk of evolving into a different person you thought you knew very well.
Would you? Just wondering. Our answers, are ours to live with and merely questions posed that you may never be asked again.
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Thank You, Mom

Marian "Sparky" Ipiotis

August 28, 1925 ~ January 30, 2016

THANK YOU, MOM!

Thank you for being the best you could be, as a person, a woman, a mother, grandmother, godmother, friend, relative to many people. You taught us well the meaning of respect, of working hard and cherishing the ones who care for you.

We hold you in our memories like we breathe in the air, we think of you as if you've never left this world. You will remain in the sacred places where our hearts and spirits long to be. We love you more than we could ever adequately convey and we know you championed your children like a mother lion protects her cubs. We love you in the quiet times, happy, lonely times, when laughter roars and tears trickle down our faces.

We hold on to the sound of your smile and the smell of your graciousness. We know you are around in ways that only a mother in heaven can understand and we appreciate your divine appointment and place among the angels and saints who experience life and learned how to move on into a peaceful, powerful, perfect place of privilege. Thank you for every little and big thing you ever did for us and so many others. You made life more livable and lovable. Thank you Mom. We love you.

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Wonder

We wonder about life, the ways and meaning of it. We wonder how life can be so hard for some people and seemly easy for others, so unfair, so beautiful and blessed. How a person can appear larger than life itself while another is barely noticed in fact forgotten or altogether lost in time and space.

We wonder how humans can be so cruel while having the capacity to create such amazing moments. How does one face the day full of despair while another can't wait to take it on. The lines between the darkness and the lines get fuzzy if we allow them to. When times seem hopeless it is best to hold on to hope, to have faith in something, someone beyond the proverbial blue horizon.

Wonder how many times we wonder about such things and then jump back into the game of life as if to ignore the questions at all. Life is good and much more doable when we simply plunge in and take it on. To revel in the goodness and recall the memories and moments that leave us feeling satisfied and complete, renewed and better equipped to handle what life throws at us, instead of wondering too much about the imbalances, the yin and yang, the good and bad, darkness and light.

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Catch A Ride

Life, birth, death from the moment we are born, we sprout from a seed and grow like a weed. If all goes well, we are nurtured like a prize winning flower that has learned to bloom into something beautiful and strong.

A precious child has arrived, welcomed into the world, everyone is  overjoyed with new life. The brand new member of the tribe has come in for a safe landing, while another baby fights to hold on to her life, to breathe without support and go home. Family cannot get close enough to hold her tenderly and tell her how very important and loved she is. The battle is over, it is time to escort a tiny angelic baby to her time of passing as sacred, scathingly painful and life changing as can be. To let a child go physically, to bless them into their next soulful level of existence when you want to hold on for dear, precious life... words  fail to adequately convey such profound pain.

From a soulful place, spirits may never have to let go. We reach out somehow to those who must move on into another realm, another form of existence unsure if they can hear us, feel us, recognize us? We have "survived" our place on this earthly plane while a loved-one takes their leave. We are left with a deep void buried in our hearts when we bury our beloved ones. The love and connection remains it tugs on our heart strings and whispers signals that are revealed in the sweetest most delicate places, in nature and in the epicenter of our own existence. 

No questions, no answers upon acceptance

which shows-up in a subtle understated vehicle. It drives-up preparing you for what you thought was lost through the death of a loved one but ends-up driving you through the undeniable moments you find yourself blindsided with grief to a clear understanding that you have not lost but are part of the place of perfection, peace, power, privilege where you and I want to go some day, when it is our turn to catch a ride into the sunset. It will be a great ride with a great view beyond the horizon beyond anything we imagine, it is where happiness  and harmony, bliss and bountiful blessings with bouquets of flowers that no color, fragrance or  dimensions can quite describe, yet exists and thrives like there is no tomorrow.

EPIC L*O*V*E

Love it or leave it, believe it to achieve it. Love is epic, an essential gift to give and receive.

Over and under inside out, my heart to yours yells, it shouts to the heavens; "Love flies high in the sky with the stars and rests in the chests of angels, on the crest of a sunrise and the powerful quiet sunset, a profoundly important place where strength and weakness dwell!"

Very valuable, the big heart whose structure is strong with a solid gold foundation, sensitive as a delicate snowflake and resilient, steadfast as the weeping willow that sways in a gusty wind.

Extraordinarily excellent is the heart consistently full of soul that harbors compassion, kindness, patience and peace.

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Rise and Fall

To rise to the occasion or fall, to hang your head in defeat, depleted, drained, spent or fortified, renewed, strengthened? We cast our fate to the heavens, hopeful of where it lands or drown in the murky waters of grief, doubt, disappointment and despair. 

Where our life takes us, where we take our life leads to curious turns, unsuspecting challenges. Panoramic views on uncharted paths prove to be perilous as dangerous curves teach invaluable, life changing lessons. The hands of time move at a snails pace as the sand in the hourglass pours through in an instant. Spinning our wheels we don't seem to get anywhere then look up and suddenly realize we have come along way on our journey. 

Do we rise and thrive with the first light of day, fall from grace with the last sliver of light or move in the direction of light armed with a good but war torn heart and good intentions to be better, stronger and wiser than time before?

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Matter

You, me, them, they, us, we matter and are made of matter, minerals, blood, arteries, veins, bones, cells, a heart and soul. Earth, the stars, our moon and sun are made of matter, protons, electrons, neutrons. Various particles that form atoms create elements of life forms, molecules which kind of morph into compounds and creation.

Simple as it is, is just as complex. Time and space wraps around all matter blending all manner of life, art and science. Every manner of existence has it's place, be it dangling in mid air, firmly rooted in the ground or wet as water when hydrogen and oxygen get together.  *The moon's mass consists of various minerals and rocks! The sun is comprised of crazy hot, hotter than hot stuff, meanwhile, the moon light like sun shine is immersed in our precious, fragile, resilient, crazy colossal world and becomes a reflection of us here. It turns out all of us are connected, all of our lives matter ~

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Back To School

The dreaded advertisements and commercials on TV and radio reminding us that school was just a stones throw away from starting another year. Oh joy! School clothes for many years meant uniforms, beige, brown and brown plaid at St Francis Xavier and dark blue & white tiny checkered uniforms at Queen of Heaven.

All the life lessons, mistakes and achievements, learning about the world and out of this world, the excitement of learning to read and write, the challenges of my unique learning style along with our scholastic achievements, the magic of language, literature, history, geography, science, religion and math- oooh my nemesis-math. Back to school- back to formal education, a structured learning environment an atmosphere of curiosity and critical thinking but not too critical, curious, controversial, provocative nor inappropriate as conformity made for smoother school day's and easier crowd control while fostering a wholesome and respectful educational experience for all.

My mind wandered, paying attention was precarious and I often yearned to be anywhere else but in the class room, I yearned to be anybody else but me. I went on my own journey in the middle of the group trail and ventured off the beaten path. I noticed things in the pages and chapters of our books that everybody including the teacher seemed to over look but I learned enough and then some, to propel me into the next grade and keep up with you and your lighting-fast tutorials that kept me up to speed in a language I could understand clearly.

Sports came naturally on the other hand and was a great diversion from the confines of the classroom, an alternative way to be excellent if not with fractions and participles then with the dynamics, rules and regulations of sports, of particular interest to us and an exciting outlet to excel in. The allure of "the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat", the playing field seemed more level in organized competitive athletics. It was all there, the camaraderie, sportsmanship, the discipline, fun, physicality and satisfaction of winning after all the practice, training, effort, time and energy involved.

School was a mixed bag of memorable great days to days where I thought I died and gone to hell due to school work or adult and peer pressure to be normal and fit-in regarding grades, behavior, clothes, attitude and overall status quo. It was a hell of a time, a big part of our lives as twins who grew up together and shared the crazy, amazing school days. We learned a lot inside the classroom and outside about many subjects including people. We grew-up together and grew a part but always seemed to find our way back for commentary on the latest happenings in our lives, sports, music, current events, places or other mutual points of interest.
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Dream The Impossible

Life's journey, the quest for liberty, freedom from oppression, unrest, desperation,  highs, lows, losses, triumphs, tragedies, hopes, aspirations, disappointments are taken on by Miguel de Cervantes as he transforms into Alonso Quijana then Don Quixote de La Mancha, accompanied by loyal companion, Sancho Panza.

Trouble is encountered, the horizon blurred as the castle's innkeeper "The Governor" tells Don Quixote what he wants to hear, meanwhile Dulcinea's rough edges melt into silk and lace then bloodied and battered by injustice for helping The Man of La Mancha, who only see's her as eternal beauty defined and needing defense against a cruel world.

Not the threat of a renegade band of Gypsies, the opposition and constant threat of The Enchanter nor a Knight of the Mirrors, not even The Spanish Inquisition can diminish visions of such grandiose measure.  Devotion and resolve to love and cherish to protect is unstoppable only adding to the possibilities, the illusions of life regardless of the raw reality. The depth and height of hope, the determination and will to see beyond the scathing harshness of it all. It is possible to stand tall, start fresh, begin again and again, to imagine and see only the best most beautiful, brightest and precious, without hesitation.

Yes, dream and hope and wish and conspire to share the vision, the very warm tender and powerful prayers with the ones who mean the most, the ones who lift us up, who walk along side of us, who reflect our bold blind love in the middle of darkness and ultimately believe the truth of our dreams and wishes that somehow, somewhere do occur by means of our own design. *Dream sweet dreams, the impossible and improbable, imagine your heart happy, fulfilled as an awesome dream come true.

"Impossible Dream"

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
And to run where
the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
And to love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star
This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march,
march into hell
For that heavenly cause
And I know
If I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart
Will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
And the world will be
better for this
That one man, scorned
and covered with scars,
Still strove with his last
ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable,
the unreachable,
The unreachable star
And I'll always dream
The impossible dream
Yes, and I'll reach
The unreachable star

~ Joe Darion  

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Mother to Son by Langston Hughes


=♥=

 



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Letter to Mom

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Faith ~

Keep your faith in all beautiful things; 
in the sun when it is hidden, 
in the Spring when it is gone. 
~ Roy R. Gilson

 

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Yours!

May happiness be yours as much as possible, whenever possible in every direction, every drop, drive, dreary day and unforgettable night ~ May your hopes and sweet dreams come true and may good luck, good fate, faith, goodness and life's sacredness bless you with family and friends to love and love you through life.

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LOVE

Sometimes the answer, sometimes the question to ponder and yearn for, live and die for, give and receive, to cherish, lose sleep over, protect, pray for fight and play forward. Love is new, old, ageless, weak, strong, grows, dies, lives, breathes, builds, repairs the damage, replaces what is lost and redeems the forsaken. It fades, flourishes, blossoms and beautiful.

    

Love is the souls desire, it is priceless, real, raw, regal, necessary, essential to well being.It is simple, spectacular, tough, tender, a blessing and immersed in the rhythm, ebb and flow of life. To love and be loved with good intention and respect is to be riveted by, cry over, sigh, ache appreciate and be amazed by.

 

Love dazzles, dazes, pleases and teases, confuses and is a fundamental feeling.

The experience and instinctive nature of love is healthy, nurturing, comforting while heart pounding, perplexing and motivating. It moves in slow motion and faster than the speed of sound, it is boundless with the capacity to light the darkness and fill the heart with pain, passion, joy, hope and everything good.

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River of Life

For Life And Death Are One

Even As The River And The Sea Are One

Khalil Gibran



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Wonder

I wonder how earth, the moon, the sun, all the planets, stars and celestial entities know their fiery, fantastic breathtaking perfectly synchronized dance steps. I wonder how much more is out there to explore and discover, to learn from, love, live with and long for, to bless and be blessed by. I wonder where the answers to all the questions are, where the lost is found, happiness prevails and peace is the only law and order of the day. I wonder who will answer the call to champion what is right,  be compassionate, honor the dignity of all beings and be true to the core of loving and being loved.

Who will stand by the sad, the sick the wounded and broken. Who will cure the world one heartbeat, one step, one kind word and gesture of respect at a time. I wonder what will happen in the future, in the spirit and heart of the universe and what if push comes to shove. What in the world can be done to heal itself from the wounds of negativity, harsh treatment of one another and all the ills that wreck havoc among the vulnerable, those without a voice at all and the forgotten.  I wonder when time will tell, the earth will stop spinning, love will conquer all and when we will get it right. When is enough, when does the sacredness of our hearts and souls saturate life and all existence with love, peace and respect.
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Noel Pointer ~ Wayfaring Stranger

Bittersweet, sad, passionate, intense serious and surreal. This music sounds like winter in many ways. Peace, love, joy to you always, from me
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Angels

Angels are a peculiar lot, maybe they are among us maybe they are not. Maybe they fly, are big, wear fur or goofy smiles, maybe they dress in white and solid gold hallo's hover over them or maybe they exist somewhere in between our heart and soul, our life death and our joy and pain?

I wonder how angel's came about, if at a cost does the price increase as the demand for their special skills increase and does the value rise in direct proportion. I wonder if humanity would recognize them or simply see's them often but usually unaware? Is everyone issued their own guardian angel or several at birth? Are they boys or girls, a combination of both or something else?

Angels in our midst are as possible and probable as a smile that makes you melt, a breathtaking sunrise and sunset, a full fabulous moon and a soft rain on a hot dry day. Angels are probably just dying to meet you and me to make our acquaintance and hang around as needed for the rest of our days and nights. Angels on high, down low, close to the earth, heaven sent it seems to be a matter of fact of stories told lives saved, indescribable miraculous elements of life the unexplainable, turning points, pivotal life changing moments when nothing and no one can help or understand your hopeless plight, no one except a being of extraordinary means and ways, divine.

Alas, the flight and fancy, dream and schemes of the angel appears- time and time again, the peoples choice, back by popular demand of the collective subconscious thinking wishing hoping mind and spirit of people everywhere... a ray of light in the darkness, shelter from the storm suddenly surfaces while compassion, kindness, respect, love and comfort find their way into your broken heart and open wounds, your fear, despair and plea for relief are heard. The angel hastens to your rescue equipped with wings of tenderness, strength and courage.  Recognize and acknowledge angels as you hear the whisper in your ear. Tears wiped clean, doubt put to rest and peace finds it way into your thoughts. Yes, bask in the calm quiet company of angelic forces and their perfectly placed presence.

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FLY ~

Fly into the high wide sky far happy and free. Slide into the day with anticipation of good things to come. Ride like elegant feathers on a bird effortlessly. Roll like a shiny rock in a riverbed lined with gold. Move into the night grateful and nice at the end of the day. Dream sweet dreams rest quietly comfortably and at peace. Sigh in awe breathless from the light the love the mystery and miracles of life ~

 

"Wave!" the ocean calls to hasten and pour itself onto the shore. Brave the storm go forth with courage better for the burden as more challenges await you are stronger for the wear and tear. Stand firm with resolve to rise above the darkness equipped with all the necessary sacred armor. Walk the center line poised for goodness and grace.  Be a blessing blessed better than the moment before. Pray the test of time and space will see you safely and happily through. Be the one who lifts and lights the way ~

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Round About Way ~

After living the past the present invites you in welcoming you with open arms or simply let's you in to help yourself. You wish the moment could stand still and other times cannot pass into the future fast enough. In the quiet and chaos, heavenly and hellacious the bridge must be crossed there is no turning back as life unfolds on it's own accord and at it's own pace.

One has an idea of what lies ahead per prior arrangements, conditions, expectations, schedules, deadlines, routines, set coordinates however anything can happen as sudden unforeseen changes take place, the human factor, factors beyond control, the weather, the days and nights like people and places are full of surprises and are constantly subject to change. *Without warning mayhem magic miracles the monumental minuscule of life moves about with reckless abandon or with purpose. Every heart beat by beat, step by step stride, ride, round about way also proud, painful, playful, fearless current moment at a time until the next time we step into the future the present becomes the past and the past becomes a memory in the future.
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September 23, 2013 Happy Birthday Marky! ♥

 Just a little malarkey, fanfare & salute to you on our birthday! Been extra nice I know you been around ~

Twin Towers

One down, one tower of The World Trade Center destructs right in front of our eyes. How can it be, crashing furiously the concrete, glass and metal giant roars and rumbles in pain. Then the second twin is blindsided too, the fallen, injured broken, everyone and everything goes down. It is hellacious to witness, to understand the scope and magnitude of the moment. The wretched scathing reality of precious lives lost as the stoic structure ruptures violently. The smoke and ash, blood, water, cries of the hurt and those wanting to help, it is a dark and vivid memory, a sad awareness of lives that ended too soon.

 

With little to no warning perhaps only time enough for a lighting fast call to a loved one to tell them you love them if you can even muster enough air to speak, or no last words at all. For the survivors the love and grief remains. 

In those moments on September 11th, 2001 the world changes, it is a place in the universe that weeps for it's own destructive nature, cries for equality, justice, peace, enough to eat and a safe place to land at the end of the day.

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The Basics

Counting blessings, taking stock, itemizing the vast inventory of riches bestowed upon me. Grateful and happy to maintain a humble heart filled with fresh appreciation for the everyday resources and conveniences available.  Simple stuff, the simpler the better, the best approach and one my sensibilities prefer more everyday. Keep calm and carry-on, go nuts get carried away whatever you do; keep your sh*t together in as much as possible the choice is yours. ☼

It's just that from time to time the obvious needs to be pointed out, dusted off and brought to light.

Everyday is another set of choices, experiences, thoughts, feelings, conversations, gestures of kindness, lessons, challenges and opportunities. We face life head-on ready for what may come and sometimes retreat to a quiet place, undisturbed, without strain or stress, a time to unplug. ☼ Our spirit's thrive in peace as our hearts are often barely noticed and living without the daily requirements it longs for; LOVE and JOY- the basics.  ☼ Our gooey yet resilient center suffers quietly hoping for respite, a peaceful place to land and a nice parking spot. That is not asking too much and important to seek and find such necessary aspects in the middle of the everyday grind. Let's do it! Go get 'um, run away, play, pout, party, pray or stay for the double feature. Just do it, and do it good!

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Wounded ♥

There is always hope for a wounded heart even after a direct hit and blunt blow. Branches snap off ripped apart from the tree of life barely upright after being blindsided, whipped around by the unforgiving blistering wind. Reality is raw and painful as word of a loved ones death leaves a family weak with grief or to consider the harsh injustices of the world. Humanity bleeds at the hands of it's own cruelty, the sad, hostile, inhumane, dark side of existence can leave one depleted, broken, battered and bruised.

Moving forward from everything into possibly anything, the world is hungrier than ever for love and respect. The hunger is in our own divine core, constantly seeking a peaceful place to land where love and respect is consumed and shared like oxygen, a peaceful attitude is the order of the day and positive perspectives are the only known perspective.

*Let us go forth then and be a blessing to one another.

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America ~

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Q & A

When we were in our early 20s you knew you wanted to marry Nancy, be a good husband

and provider, you probably had an inclination about fathering and raising children, I mean- "cubs". You went about your life as a matter of fact and did not seem to let things bother you, things that concerned and confused me.

 

Fearlessly, you went so far as to take on a security guard job for a while. I like the story about Nancy showing up to a huge downtown warehouse you were guarding at the time, unbeknownst to you she showed-up on site and scared the hell out of you as you heard unfamiliar footsteps and sounds... after a few minutes of the mysterious steps coming out of the dark, calling out your name she put you at ease, you composed yourself and were once again able to do your job at securing the grounds.

Now I look back on those years of my own unrest and uncertainty.  I was desperate to find answers to questions I did not even know how or what to ask, until the Holy Spirit tapped me on my sad shoulders and rescued me from myself. I was reassured that it was OK not to learn all the answers and mysteries would unravel over the course of my life.  It was a quiet yet spectacular, life changing epiphany when God's amazing grace would shine a light on a dimly lit lost world and rescue and revive a weary and restless heart. 

 

I moved forward mindful of the personal spiritual connection available with the Holiest of Holies, Sacred Heart, Healer, Comforter, Port in life's storms forevermore aware of blessings and my capacity to be a blessing, these endless miracles would see me through the journey. I was issued keys to what I thought was a locked door in order to obtain peace of mind and healthy perspectives. The keys as it turns out were in my possession all along and included but were and are not limited to; Love and the inherent power to cultivate a climate of kindness, to strive for patience, to forgive, grow in faith and joy would be available to me as long as I sought the presence and guidance of the author and finisher of life.

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19 years

	Obituary for IPIOTIS
Published in the Albuquerque Journal on Thursday June 06, 2013
IPIOTIS, MARK ALLEN JOSEPH In Loving Memory of Mark Allen Joseph Ipiotis September 23, 1957 - June 6, 1994 We get on with our lives minus the ones we miss. Mark's absence is like that missing sparkling diamond on the ring, the ship and precious cargo lost at sea, the spectacular eclipse shrouded by the clouds, the blowout party that ended too soon, the favorite Greatest Hits album without a record player to play it on. HS graduation in early June 1975, a landmark time for us like the night Mark died our lives changed, we would never be the same. The curtains were drawn, the concert was cancelled, the game called because of rain. What a great guy and great Spirit who had nice penmanship.

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Element of Life

Survivor's, sojourners, souls connect, the spirit fades then shines a dazzling light, a perpetual quiet and constant flicker, it is a holy light a force of which I do not know the words to adequately describe. It is an essential element of life. It plays out like an endless ride, big waves gush through our consciousness Mark's love prevails, his memory, his way's, his look, his walk, talk, a regular guy but way beyond.

 

The essence of Mark remains because we say so.  Life we shared Fahgetabout, it's locked in, to think about growing up together, the love, hate thing sometimes made us growl at the sight of each other but at the end of the day it is the loyalty that never went away. Even if we couldn't or were told; not to even look at each other. The care and need to protect and watch out for one another- just a way of life.

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As The World Turns

As if it were always here and always will be, as if there were no pain, no strain, no cruelty, no hate nor turmoil. It's crazy, incredible, inconceivable, completely insane and fantastic. Planet earth, as fragile as it is mighty, as vulnerable as it is resilient but not indestructible as billions of other celestial elements graze on and share the same immense cosmic pasture.

Planets play with the stars and one wonders how it is all organized and maintained while life and light, death and darkness jockey for position. Perhaps we are lost in space crashing recklessly into spaces already occupied or floundering about like graceful koi fish in a heavenly pond. The ever present challenge to find our place our joy our peace our purpose. Here I am, here we are with our slight yet important presence in the middle of it all at the center of the mysterious vastness.

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THANK YOU!

Mom, Thank you for all the years of love and care, for worrying about me, wondering if I am alright, and waiting for the call to let you know we made it home OK. You taught us to understand the importance of respect and the difference between right and wrong and kept us out of trouble.
Thank you for seeing to it that I had enough and appreciated everything I had. I stay in your heart just as you remain in my soul.
Thank you for being there.

To the Mother of my children, Thank you Nancy, for being such a good mother and now grandmother. Thank you for loving our children and being there for my mother now and remaining part of the family. I am eternally grateful to you for your presence in my life, for helping me to become the man you will always love and the good father I prayed to be for our children.

Happy Mothers Day to the ones who loved and cared for me, for your kindness and nurturing ways, for keeping me alive in your memory and remembering me as a very important part of your life. I do what I can in quiet, gentle ways to remind you of your preciousness and special place in the world. What a blessing you were to me and continue to be to the one's I love.

I love you more than ever and hope Mother's Day finds you happy and healthy and satisfied that you are living life with grace and goodness and making life more livable because you are in it.

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Never On Sunday

After mass Mom prepared a nice Sunday meal that might include meatloaf or fried chicken with all the fixings and strawberry jello & bananas for dessert. Most stores and business' never opened on Sundays.  Everything seemed to quiet down for the day, the pace slowed and people adapted to the day of rest accordingly. We piled in the black and white Ford to visit Tia Erlinda and sometimes picked her up to join us for a ride out to the country and an ice cream cone from the Diary Queen or a mug of root beer from A&W's. Simple, sweet stuff, every one in good spirits as we squeezed out every drop of the weekend we could.

A nice Sunday or Saturday matinee was the most, I can still imagine the smell of the lobby in the Kimo, State, Sunshine and Highland theaters. We were treated to great afternoons filled with Hollywood or Disneyland's kid-friendly movies of the day (circa 1960's) that always translated into a few hours of quiet time for Mom and meant an exciting escape into the big screen full of fun, adventure in technicolor and music in high fidelity plus fresh popcorn, a cold drink and some sweets. Life was good!

On occasion big sisters, Marcie and Sophie escorted us to the circus with the larger than life, heart pounding, wide-eyed, jaw-dropping spectacular sights and sounds.  The ringmaster directing the greatest show onearth appeared noble with perfect posture along with the amazingly enthusiastic booming voice and top hat made everything magical and somewhat overwhelming to take it all in. We watched the choreographed processions in awe as the lions, elephants, monkeys, clowns, the pretty ladies in their shiny outfits and beautiful faces so daring and graceful preformed dangerous aerial acts and thrilling perfectly timed acrobatics. It made for an afternoon of thrills and chills, we were all smiles, excited and happy to enjoy all the fantastic fun under the big top! It was like heaven especially when Marcie pulled-out and passed around a big bag of candy she had packed for the occasion!

Late Sunday night could be challenging if a nap was taken earlier. It's a tough one when you're wide awake and must get-up early for school or work the next day. Certain people, places and activities fit so perfectly with Sunday and define what will take place, how, where, when... hopefully at an easy going pace. Some things are simply not done on Sunday like work or school and some things are reserved only for Sunday after church and chores around the house, having fun, enjoying the day, lounging around, playing cards or shooting hoops. It is a good day to recharge your batteries for the new week ahead.

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Play Ball!

The players have practiced, trained, scrimmaged and warmed-up over and over again. The necessary players and coaches are in place, the field, equipment and uniforms are on, the season opens.

The smell of  baseball includes fresh air, freshly cut grass and wet dirt. The ball smacks the leather of the glove, the bat cracks with the swat, the competitors mean business, focused and ready to roll. Who will hit the hardest, run the fastest, yell the loudest, catch the line drive and fly ball, time the play just right, according to what might happen next?  Who might steal a base, strike-out or hit a home run out of the ballpark? Who will earn the most hits, runs, errors and sacrafices? Who will trot off the field happier after all the innings have been played out and line-up to exchange high-five's and a mention of the "Good game!" with the opposing team? 

 

Another season begins and is as fresh as the budding tree's surrounding the field, the bleachers and chair backs await their rightful occupants. Everyone is excited to hunker into a brand new season of several games of skill, strength, speed, overall athleticism, the great outdoors, fun competition and experiences that will be remembered for a lifetime, perhaps even thought of as the glory days for a lot of people, young and old, fans of the sport in the dug-out, on the field and out in the stands.  ☼  Batter up!

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New

Who doesn't like new things? A new garment, pair of shoes, a car, house, job, baby, relationship, trip, pet, you name it, even a new attitude can be nice. Funny thing about this time of year, it seems new like waking-up from hibernation for several months. This part of the globe thaws from a chilly winter, people perk-up and continue on, renewed and good to go.

There is a sense of refreshment as we welcome the familiar season. Once again hope springs eternal, possibilities are dusted off. We move forward marching to the sound of our own drum amidst the familiar and predictable yet there is always a chance of something good, surprises and disappointments, something no one saw coming, something to marvel at or mourn or revel in, to experience at least once in a lifetime, something you wish everyone could learn or no one would ever have to endure. Yes, there is new hope for goodness to prevail, for joy to ride on the shoulders of sadness and exhaustion to be extinguished by rejuvenation.

There is an air of wonder, excitement as well as uncertainty and mystery. We find it is necessary to simply enjoy the natural beauty of Spring when the ground stirs, flowers bloom and trees sprout with their quiet and comforting presence. The earth comes alive as birds sing their sweet song early in the morning eager to embrace the sunlight.

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May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

And rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

 

author, unknown

               

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Start Over

 

When a month winds down we look back on the last several weeks with mixed reviews. There is the satisfaction that things went mostly well or the knowledge that the wear and tear, dissapointments and surprises made you stronger perhaps more sensitive and smarter. Sometimes we reflect with regret, eager to be done with those days we thought would never end. We look forward to fresh starts, yet more opportunities to begin again, your own wonderous evolution continues. It is well within our scope and necessary to grow, begin anew over and over again to improve upon to enhance, lift-up and bring about the appropriate changes necessary to be happy and healthy, better equipped to be a blessing to others.

To realize what a waste of time and energy is involved with fretting, losing yourself to despair and doubt and feelings of inadequacy, is to be assured that better things are ahead, new ways of doing things important lessons have taught us and feel good about who you are, how you are doing and where you are going.

At the end of the day, the week the month we find that life is so much more doable when one's attitude is in a positive place, when we are encouraged by our own thoughts, efforts and resolve to make our time and place in the world a good thing and better because we are here.

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Four Letter Word

LOVE... and MARK, but Mark is a name, a name that comes-up often, as if you were just across town. You actually seem closer to us than ever, about as close as our own heartbeat. We do miss your physical presence terribly, of course we knew the moment God called you to be where you are- we knew where you were going and where you will be.

Mark's exists in Heaven which transcends time and space, in a state of perfection, peace, privilege, power. I keep you near and still feel connected to you. It's quite something, the dimensions stretch far beyond what I can describe adequately. Never the less I am blessed with love in my life, precious family and friends in addition to good doggie dogs who keep my heart full, my faith comforts me indeed.Yes, my faith works full time blessing me even in the middle of uncertainties and insecurities, flaws and frailties.

I walk and talk and carry-on with the presence of the Holy Spirit. I am reassured of the grace available over and under the big top of LIFE, another four-letter word found in every molecule, every cell, every drop, drip, drama, trauma, tremendous triumphant moment of life. I have been bestowed the knowledge and awareness of love, the pure essential nature of it, the gift of love be it in giving or receiving is sacred and always necessary.
                                
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2013

Right out of the gates this year begins with big challenges for a humanity that craves compassion but expresses it's restlessness in cruel and hateful ways. Politics, religion, spirtuality, economics, our precious planet... struggles to find the balance, to rediscover our way through the harshness, sadness, the cold climate of life gets to be a bit much when the quality let alone dignity of life is compromised.

If we are fortunate enough we are blessed with eachother, someone, people who give a damn. We hope for a kind world, a good life, happy, healthy, peaceful and safe. We pray that somewhere in the middle of the chaos, the warmth of the Holy Spirit awaits at the center,  always there, the alpha and the omega, the light in the darkness, the love that is stronger than hate, the broken heart that heals quietly and emerges better, beyond recognition to heights never imagined, to places of wonder, simple wisdom and impassioned desire to be blessed and a blessing.

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Goodbye, Hello

So long 2012, it's been a nice year, good things happening, simple, quiet times, news of catastrophe, devastation and humanity at it's worst and best. Life is quite something to behold, death even more unsettling in all it's mysteries.

 

I hold on to hope for a happy new year, continued blessings, the comforts I've known should be bestowed upon everyone, love and care, a warm bed, people are fed, blessed and a blessing, assured that tomorrow will be full of everything good. I pray for peace in a world full of storms and uncertainty, for comfort and joy for the ones who need it the most.

 

Let's take a deep breath and plunge into next year. God bless you 2013!

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Christmas 2012

Prayed the Our Father, Hail Mary, sang Silent Night, shed some cold tears, warm laughs and held on to each other as we remembered you many times enjoying this time of year surrounded by your family and friends. We love you and hold on to your joy, your love, your grace and goodness.

I recall simple years, mom hovering over us with her love. She baked biscochito's, those red & green log cookies and let us go nuts decorating the various shaped cookies, there was a bell, star, Santa Claus, loved the chile relleno balls, the chicharones she made from the left over chops for the pasole.

 It's A Wonderful Life on TV, or Miracle On 63rd St, White Christmas or The Bells of St Mary's. Midnight Mass, the excitement, wonder and love, always priceless, magic of a miraculous nature. It happened that we shared many sweet, simple, life changing and heart warming moments. I hold on to a lot of it, the day in  day out stuff,  the extra special experiences we shared are still a part of me ☼ 

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New Day

It is a new way to live, to enjoy blessings, be a better person, share your love, joy, everything good and good for you, me, them, us. We look for answers our questions will never know, we look for comfort from discontent, we crave a soft, safe, forgiving place to land at the end of the day.

In the middle of it all, are heart stopping, mind expanding, jaw dropping moments that only tears can address, a hardy laugh can complete and a good sweat can satisfy. Among the absurdities, tragedies, triumphs and day in day out experiences our heart strings are pulled and trigger any number of emotional responses however appropriate or irrational as it can be. Experiences do define the world to us in such a way that everything might seem hopeless, beyond understanding while other times seem to simply melt into the next.

The day flies by or simply seems suspended in time while the night moves about quickly or in slow motion depending on what's going on. It is out of our hands, yes, much of it, yet very much within our scope and capacity to bring about all the love, peace, joy and comfort in and outside the world, universe, cosmos, existence.

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Yes ~ LOVE Lift Us Up ♫

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Time Traveler

Time rolls on like a long winding road,  at night car lights line the road one after the other like a string of pearls unraveling down the hill. The sky is clear as the stratosphere shines a spotlight on the moon. The glow is dramatic and powerful, the purest form of art, comforting and sweet.  Creatures stir, stars fall, the traveler waits and watches for moments of brilliance to flash across the horizon like a wonderful surprise.

Daylight captures the landscape, it is a diverse terrain draped in hills, peaks and plateau's. The trip includes risks and challenges with intermittent overcast skies,  quiet precedes the storm, it pounds the pavement and dances across the dashboard as the sun waits patiently to dry it out and illuminate the sky with it's radiance. The journey melts into miles of unpaved and rocky places, relief awaits just around the next corner.

The path may be perilous, mysterious, uncharted and requires safety precautions, good directions, perhaps a map. Move toward the way of least resistance to the area's that best suite you and your mode of transportation. Move forward with faith, follow what speaks to you, calls out your name and feels right, comfortable and makes you glad you took the route you did.

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Peaceful Place

To find a place where only love and peace reside is to immerse oneself into a calm state of mind, it is accessible at all times and can be found at the center of our consciousness in our heart and soul. Peace of mind comes with resolve to settle into a quiet condition, it becomes more important and necessary when a pressurized, stress-filled world would rather steal our attention.

The effort to control negative reaction presents more of a challenge than one might have the power and presence of the mind to cultivate. Our willingness to simply be aware of a moment of frustration or confusion, determines the outcome of the moment even if the best reaction is to do nothing more than breathe, calm down and keep in check emotionally. Easier said than done perhaps but a worthwhile practice, as the pace of life quickens more with each passing day, it is essential to the quality of life and each individuals own responsibility to promote peace. To maintain with deliberate intention, in as much as we are capable of doing, to go forth bearing a positive mind set.

If in our way of proceeding in and processing life, everything becomes negative based and we become carelessly reactive we tend to be unhappy, inpatient people. If our attitude is more a blending of good intentions, respect, kindness, compassion, patience, then we become the person we wish everyone were. At the end of the day we receive what we give. We, as vulnerable fragile individuals become strong in our own awareness of what is truly necessary and fundamentally right and aligned with a perfect, powerful place of privilege. We become stronger and more stoic in our pursuit of peace and happiness. We are a blessing and not a burden unto ourselves nor those we encounter by happenstance or nearest to us.

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The Miracle of Life

Arlo and big sister, Maleah 10.24.12

WOW!!! and I mean WOW! Had the great privilege of witnessing the birth of your third grandchild last night! Naturally baby Arlo is about as precious and perfectly wonderful as can be. Maria Elena and Arlo are blessed with one another and Modi's first born, Maleah. She has that same bear cub quality to her that your own three lil bears possess. Nancy is beaming and was almost ready to pull baby Arlo out herself, to say she was eager to see her hito is an understatement! Uncle Marky and Auntie Sophia are all about the love and affection for sister.

Love is at the forefront of this occasion, we miss you more than words can say yet we are happy to acknowledge your spiritual presence. Here is how our lives carry-on, in spirit, mind and body, we connect, we share the past, the present and the future. We are people brought together by divine appointment to love one another, to experience the times of our lives.

Blessings abound.

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Compassion

One suffers another one celebrates.
One goes missing, taken from the comfort of their own familiar place,
fear and isolation ensues and suddenly becomes a scathing reality.

No one even knows where to look,
while another one shows-up in grand fashion, fabulous and fulfilled. 

Eye's twinkle like stars, shine with light and love, eager to take on the next exciting, mind expanding image. Eyes go blank, blurred with despair,
doubt consumes a clear vision and distorts the view, desperation and disappointment
take hold as the eyes have seen too much for the heart and soul to bear.

 

We wonder how life can be so wonderful, smooth, sweet,
glorious, breathtaking and triumphant

when the harsh realities of others are profoundly rough and unfair,
fraught with misery like an out of control wild fire wrecks havoc,
leaving only the remnants of what was once a peaceful and comfortable existence.

 

To find your place in the world, to belong, go and come and do as you please with little to no regard for your safety, your freedom, your overall well being and security-
what everyone desires, wishes and hopes for.
But not everyone can obtain even the simplest conveniences without a struggle.

It is wise and recommended then to appreciate the comforts of life, the resources available with access to people we love and who love and care for us.

 

Humankind's presence on this earthly plane is magnificent, mysterious, merciless, meager and mighty. At once fragile, resilient, precious, precarious and puny
as anything known or unknown unto itself. 

 

Does compassion matter? Who will consider and understand anothers pain? 

To be better people in the name of surviving a hurting, hateful world, one attempts through action, prayer, humility and sensitivity to understand the urgent need for respect and kindness toward one another and others who do not even know what it is to be loved and cherished, acknowledged and take part in everything good, happy and healthy.
We must come and go in peace.

 

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Happy Birthday!

This candle has been lit all day in remembrance of you.

Happy Birthday to you dear Mark, Happy Birthday to you!

We remember you with love, with longing, but mostly with a good feeling about the great memories of birthday celebrations whether low key or of the hell raising variety where we laughed like there was no tomorrow.

 

We hold on to what we can, to each other, your great spirit, the joy and heart tugging, mind blowing moments, twin times meant for only Mark and Mary and those let in on the malarkey and locked in our memory banks and will be remembered endearingly forever.

 

Here's to life, here's to Mark,  the goodness that remains and is still thought of with much love.

 

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The Whole World

No where to run, no where to hide, the whole world is exposed and vulnerable to hate, injustice, tyranny, the abuse and hostility of others. We can only hope for love, peace and justice to prevail. We can only hope for our safety and for freedom to endure, for safety from those who would rather see others suffer than to live in peace and seek the preservation of goodness and respect for precious life.

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Love Remembers

Pretty simple song actually, it speaks of the staying power of love, from the cradle to the grave & beyond. This 1993 George Benson song became a personel anthem during the time of Mark's death in June, 1994. It is still reassuring to know that "Love Remembers what we forget, love remembers, every little thing".

Love Remembers People come and people go
They touch our lives and never know...
~
But all you can be sure
While you're regretting (you can be sure)
What you're forgetting
~
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
~
Love remembers
What you forget
(love remembers)
Love remembers
(love remembers)
What you forget
(love remembers)

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Summer Olympics 2012

The 2012 Summer Olympics are on which means several sports competitions are showcased as athletes from all around the world, in their finest form compete to determine who is the best of the best. The nail biting, heart stopping, jaw dropping display of determination, focus, athleticism, will and passion are brought to the forefront of the world. Kids are motivated to follow in the fleet footed steps of the Olympic athletes, adults watch with excitement and pride as their countrymen and women represent their respective countries.

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